I Don't Know what To Bring To The World

A creative prompt, & our first "Art Break" Zoom

Special thanks to you, newest subscribers, Janet, Bethany, Renee, Jeff, Joseph, Terri, Nancy, and Kathleen. However you found me, I’m glad you’re here!

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This morning I took a long walk with a friend—nearly 4.5 miles long. She walked her streets, while I walked mine because we were on the phone and not side-by-side. Near the end of our call/walk she said two things that nearly stopped me in my tracks. She continued to speak but I held up my phone and quickly made note of those blazing lines so I could return to them as soon as possible. Like, now.

Last week while I was in Florida for my daughter’s competition, I had nothing but time to reflect on the state of things in my world, and the wider world beyond my own reach, but I din’t solve any of either world’s problems. Mostly I sat by the pool and asked God questions, and ate chips and salsa while waiting for Him to speak up.

When I got bored of waiting on land, I floated down the lazy river looking up at the palms, their fronds waving in worship. God watched.

I’m home now, but still waiting. This season is punctuated by major transition around my work and I’ve got kids in college, and one on the brink of it, and another about to start driving and meanwhile dinner still has to be made. One of the questions I ask myself daily is, how do I show up here? And by “here” I mean in this world, at this time, with all of the heartache and upheaval that are the very definition of these times? How do I stay present when it’s all so overwhelming?

This morning, when

Susan Mulder

said, “I don’t know what to bring to the world” she put words to what I’ve been feeling.

When life takes major shifts, I think it’s ok important to make a little room to work through what’s coming up in us as a result of the shift. I’m working a ton right now, but that work’s not public (yet—soon!) I have struggled to journal much, which means there’s a backlog of processing I need to do, but I really don’t want to journal. Repeatedly, I’ve turned to my art table, instead of my journal. It’s been easier to paint and collage these last few months than to have to frame these many seasons in words. There’s nothing wrong with that, but the processing through those different mediums looks different, and what comes up and out as a result, is different too.

I wonder if I’m getting to the heart of it, or if I’m taking the long way around. I think, yes—it’s both.

As soon as I heard her say it, I told Susan, that line, “I don’t know what to bring to the world” was a poem waiting to be written, and so I’m taking myself up on the challenge, and sharing these words here in case you’re feeling this too—

I Don’t Know What To Bring To The World

It’s been raining for days here and the news is another torrent of terrible.

I left a candle burning when I left the house the other day and feared in that one dumb moment, might I burn my whole house down. 

Everything feels like it’s on fire and no matter how much rain falls, it isn’t enough.

What do you bring to a world that parades and prioritizes greed and power and corruption? What offering can I hold out to a world preoccupied with land-grabs and dishonest deals and bigger, better, stronger, faster?  

I don't know what to bring to the world where people are unemployed, underfed, underprivileged, undervalued and unseen.

What do I bring to the world that doesn’t patronize, presume or purger myself of any responsibility? 

I don’t know what to bring to the world, except small pieces of torn paper smudged with paint, made with glue-sticky fingers in the pre-dawn hours, with a dog at my feet. 

I bring conversation and a candle, a prayer and a creed. I offer encouragement and a hug, a few dollars to the person on the corner, a pay-it-forward in the drive thru line, a smile to the man bagging my groceries. 

Some days, I bring a dream, bold hope, and a word to a friend that weighs more than I can know. I bring phone calls with saints about heavenly things, and a word to a teen who needs to know that it’s not all bad out there. Maybe I need that word too—

I don’t know what to bring to the world so I bring what I’ve got because it’s what I’ve got, and trust that these few scattered offerings land where they are needed most. 

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This was a helpful exercise. When I started writing, I didn’t know where I’d land, but I found that by the end, I could name a few small things. If you’re looking around at everything shrugging your shoulders, tempted to wring your hands, grab a sheet of paper, and write, “I don’t know what to bring to the world” and then just start writing. See where you land by the end.

• Registration for the Long Table retreat is OPEN and nearly half full. Check out the details here and meet me in PA. in the fall!

• I created a simple, personal retreat guide for you for this season. If you’re looking for a little intentional reflection on the Abundance of God, this is for you.

• I have an opening for a Creative Mentorship. If you’re feeling creatively stuck, or just needing someone to help you discern next steps in your project or process, check this out and let’s talk.

• A few weeks ago I took an informal poll regarding your availability for “Art breaks” and it looks like Friday’s are the best day for most of us. Friday, 5/23 will be the first one! Join me on Zoom at 9AM Eastern for this little creative Art Break. This one’s open to all subscribers. Bring whatever you want to work on or with and let’s hang out and make a little art together.