We're 35 years in and I love your tips. The toothpaste one literally made me laugh out loud. I made the mistake in our early years of think he needed to complete me. Learning about the enneagram has been helpful for me and learning about neural diversity has opened my eyes. Praying for each other is a non-negotiable as is laughter - so important ❤️
The idea that we are incomplete without a spouse is such a tiresome trope. I hate that I believed that for some years. It’s been very healing to realize that it’s simply untrue. And yes—Laughter really is so helpful! 😄
Beautifully expressed guidance on enduring marriage, Kris. So much of sharing life with someone is love and respect, even when disagreements come up. Congratulations on your “ Silver” celebration and may the Lord continue to bless your union for many, many more! Much love from the “ old timers! “ ❤️🙌🏼❤️
These are wonderful tips. Grateful for how God has worked in your marriage and for what I can learn from that work. God bless you and happy anniversary!
All of these points make such splendid advice. I think the one thing that has surprised me about marriage over the years (31 for us) is how love changes and grows deeper in u expected ways—especially after navigating difficult seasons together. There are a lot of legit reasons to leave a marriage, but I believe there are so many more to stay. Anyway, Happy anniversary to you both! 💗
The person who said, "don't do it" has a point. It may not be don't do it at all. He may have meant (I'm assuming), don't do it unless you're convinced it is the right thing to do as well as other questions to ponder. So often people marry because they are in love, but they do not stop to consider other factors. For example, the person you are thinking of marrying has a temper, a violent temper. The in love feeling has top priority in the decision and nothing else is addressed. Marriage is not just the wedding. It is not just the today or foreseeable future. Look at marriage with a perspective that this is permanent and serious. And with longevity in mind. The couple should look at themselves as a team, a partnership. Yet, they are two individuals with their own opinions and interests. Give each other a break. In other words, allow the other person to be who they are as far as being their own person with respect to honoring the marriage vows. I say this because I've known couples who one of them feels the other must agree to what they agree to. An example would be both of the people in the marriage must vote the same or they both must like the same type of music. Something I argued with when I was younger is people change and not always for the better. I don't have an answer to that. But it is a fact. People do change throughout life and not always for the better.
Most articles I read are positive and cheerful in regard to marriage. The couple has a healthy and respectful and honoring marriage. It is rare to read an article about a marriage where the couple has decided to stay married despite few positive aspects. I am 60. Right now, I am thinking of family, friends, neighbors, and people I go to church with. Many of them are married and have been married a while, sometimes many years, but they are not happy. When I say not happy, I mean there is abuse, money mismanagement or theft, addiction, criticism, neglect, disrespect, and other negative words. I realized in my mid 50s I'd been assuming things about people who have been married a long time, that a longtime marriage automatically means happy, healthy, respectful, and honoring. It only means that couple is still married.
We're 35 years in and I love your tips. The toothpaste one literally made me laugh out loud. I made the mistake in our early years of think he needed to complete me. Learning about the enneagram has been helpful for me and learning about neural diversity has opened my eyes. Praying for each other is a non-negotiable as is laughter - so important ❤️
The idea that we are incomplete without a spouse is such a tiresome trope. I hate that I believed that for some years. It’s been very healing to realize that it’s simply untrue. And yes—Laughter really is so helpful! 😄
We got married at 20, also! We were babies!! We just celebrated 22 years of marriage, and these words of advice ring true for us as well!
Congrats to you two! ☺️🤍💫
Beautifully expressed guidance on enduring marriage, Kris. So much of sharing life with someone is love and respect, even when disagreements come up. Congratulations on your “ Silver” celebration and may the Lord continue to bless your union for many, many more! Much love from the “ old timers! “ ❤️🙌🏼❤️
🩷 We are still learning and growing.
Great list, Kris! Happy Anniversary!
Thanks, friend!
These are wonderful tips. Grateful for how God has worked in your marriage and for what I can learn from that work. God bless you and happy anniversary!
Thank you! God has dealt kindly with us…🤍
All of these points make such splendid advice. I think the one thing that has surprised me about marriage over the years (31 for us) is how love changes and grows deeper in u expected ways—especially after navigating difficult seasons together. There are a lot of legit reasons to leave a marriage, but I believe there are so many more to stay. Anyway, Happy anniversary to you both! 💗
This is so good, sis. Congratulations to you & Kurt! 🙌 🥂
One of the pieces of advice we got at our wedding was #4 - buy two tubes of toothpaste - and I have to say it has been serving us well to this day! ;)
The person who said, "don't do it" has a point. It may not be don't do it at all. He may have meant (I'm assuming), don't do it unless you're convinced it is the right thing to do as well as other questions to ponder. So often people marry because they are in love, but they do not stop to consider other factors. For example, the person you are thinking of marrying has a temper, a violent temper. The in love feeling has top priority in the decision and nothing else is addressed. Marriage is not just the wedding. It is not just the today or foreseeable future. Look at marriage with a perspective that this is permanent and serious. And with longevity in mind. The couple should look at themselves as a team, a partnership. Yet, they are two individuals with their own opinions and interests. Give each other a break. In other words, allow the other person to be who they are as far as being their own person with respect to honoring the marriage vows. I say this because I've known couples who one of them feels the other must agree to what they agree to. An example would be both of the people in the marriage must vote the same or they both must like the same type of music. Something I argued with when I was younger is people change and not always for the better. I don't have an answer to that. But it is a fact. People do change throughout life and not always for the better.
Most articles I read are positive and cheerful in regard to marriage. The couple has a healthy and respectful and honoring marriage. It is rare to read an article about a marriage where the couple has decided to stay married despite few positive aspects. I am 60. Right now, I am thinking of family, friends, neighbors, and people I go to church with. Many of them are married and have been married a while, sometimes many years, but they are not happy. When I say not happy, I mean there is abuse, money mismanagement or theft, addiction, criticism, neglect, disrespect, and other negative words. I realized in my mid 50s I'd been assuming things about people who have been married a long time, that a longtime marriage automatically means happy, healthy, respectful, and honoring. It only means that couple is still married.
I'm 60 and I've been married 42 years.