This Body
On Slow Healing & Embracing What Is
Several weeks ago I sat in the specialists office anxious and hopeful for an advocate. The anticipation of that visit revealed that the scars from the medical mishandling I’d experienced in 2019 were still tender to the touch. I thought I’d recovered from a series of hurtful encounters with those who have taken an oath to “do no harm”, but as it turns out, some wounds are slow to heal—and perhaps always remain sensitive to the threat of re-opening.
But instead of re-opening the old wound, this long anticipated appointment offered healing. As it so happens, being truly listened to and heard by a doctor, covers a multitude of medical sins.
Tests were run, and what felt like pints of blood were taken and I sat in the waiting for another two weeks.
In the meantime, as I reflected on this body (my body), our mostly-contentious relationship, and her various, ever-louder cries for help, I was overcome with the truth that it is precisely here, that Jesus makes His home. My friend and Holy Yoga instructor reminds me nearly weekly, as I take my place on the mat, that it is the breath of God in our lungs—in my lungs, the Ruach—or, Spirit of God. Every time I am reminded of this, I unintentionally exhale. It’s a completely involuntary response, and the revelation of that minor detail feels major—every time it happens.
“In his letter to the church at Corinth, Paul wrote, “Don’t you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, who you have from God (1 Corinthians 3:18, CSB)?” That God dwells in us, with all of our various dysfunctions, is a wonder and a grace impossible to comprehend. That the God of all creation came in His own body, and now lives by the Spirit in these bodies, is a marvel.”
It’s been months since I traded HIIT workouts for the quieter, slower movement of Holy Yoga, and if you’d told me even just a year ago that I would find healing while moving at a snails-pace on a mat I would have denied it emphatically. But I didn’t know then that my body was coming undone, that years of anxiety, stress, and autoimmune issues were coming to an ugly head.1
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News & Notes
As promised, paid subscribers get access to FREE occasional art journaling workshops and the next one is coming on October 14th at 5PM Eastern. This will be offered for a small fee to non-paying subscribers, and will be hosted live over Zoom.
(Paid Substack subscribers will be sent the Zoom link to join and do not need to register)
Free Subscribers, register HERE for the workshop.
There are still a few rooms left for Refine {the retreat}. Ladies, this is for YOU.
“This is the Body”, Kris Camealy, Cultivating Oaks Press, Autumn 2023
This is Refine {the retreat}’s 10th Anniversary, and we have so much goodness planned—I hope to see you there.
I feel this frustration with my body too as I continue to face anxiety and as I found out I now have a gluten intolerance. It’s such a comforting and lofty thought to dwell on that holy God Almighty dwells in these broken bodies.